November 24, 2006
Reverie
You know how people tell you that you shouldn't think of what you have lost, but to recount the beautiful memories that you have with someone you onced loved? Like, to be happy that you, at least, have sweet memories?
It's quite crap. You can choose to believe that. But, you don't have to believe it if it doesn't make you feel any better. I guess that applies to most things in life. But, one lie at a time, ok.
Sometimes, you'd rather not made the decision than to have made the decision and live with just memories. Rather just cower for fear of losing someone than to risk it and lose someone.
But hindsight is always, always more illuminating. Good judgement comes from bad experience. Life continues to laugh at you, never with you.
xxx
I was thinking of my flight. I was thinking of flights, in general. How likely is it to die in an air accident?
Anyway, I was thinking of what if I die just suddenly? Most people die quite suddenly, eh? But what if I do?
Would anyone know what I left behind for them? Everything that I've kept in my life, who are they going to when I die?
Would the people I love know that I love them? Would the people who have touched me in this life know that they've given me something that I never did forget?
Would you know that I've saved all our photos since we became friends because the photos gave me simplicity when the world gets complicated?
Would you know that I've kept all the cards you've given me because they were from you? Would you know that I kept the pager you gave me as a birthday present when we were each other's first love?
Would you know that I'm leaving you many, many letters that I wrote to you but never sent out?
And I thought of tagging all those possessions of mine that I'm leaving for you and you and you. My little legacies.
Just before you forget me, remember me one more time. Just when I just told you memories can be more painful.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:55